Why does this have notes omgso my mom bought some crab and she wasn’t ready to cook them yet
so i put them on the ground and yelled “BE FREE MY FELLOW CRUSTACEANS.” and they raised their claws like this
I AM THE CRAB LORD
(via hamsterinmypants)
advantages of being a boy:
- your boobs don’t get in the way
- no period
- your hormones don’t make you feel like a different person every week
- no childbirth
- penises are fun
- shirts always fit over your chest
- you can walk around topless in summer without being arrested for it
- you store less fat
advantages of being a girl:
- can use your bra as an extra pocket
(via hamsterinmypants)
when i was 14 i was really against drugs but all of my friends were into getting high so i went to whole foods and bought empty pill capsules and filled them with sugar and told my friends that it was a new drug named pax imported from africa and that my other friends older brother gave them to me and my friends pretended like they got high off of the pills and it just made my life tbh
(via hamsterinmypants)
